“Thank you Jesus for I can be real with you“.

That was the fresh awareness and realization that overwhelmed me in the month of November. (This should have been posted in December but school responsibilities got the best of me).

For some of us, we listen quite well to other people talk about their needs, challenges, weaknesses and even shortcomings. We offer advice and encouragement to them as we are led. But we rarely, or should I say never share with anyone just how we are fairing in our faith walk. This is not because there is no one around, but because we just don’t know how to share.It is not in our ‘character’ to simply begin to unburden our hearts to people, especially friends. Now this does not refer to those who go about with false pride and the ‘I-am-perfect’ air. It just happens that we listen and offer comfort to others, but our lips become heavy when it’s our turn.

For us, we take the song “I have found a friend in Jesus” literally. He indeed is everything to us.

A while ago, I reflected on my Christian journey so far, and I asked myself some questions. Have I at any time walked up to a friend, mentor, sister or brother in spirit and shared a personal burden? How many times?

I wasn’t referring the usual ‘I’m trusting God for this or that, pray along with me’ or the ‘My exams start soon, I covet your prayers‘ that I’d seemed to have mastered. No. I was thinking about sharing my pains, struggles and all. Requesting for the support of a prayer partner.

Now when I got saved, I didn’t actually find it hard to talk to God about certain things. But along the line, (I think) due to the fact that I was quite tight lipped about how I faired with people, I began to do same with God. I began to beat around the bush in prayers and our heart-to-heart sessions. And on days when I feel overwhelmed, I’d burst into tears.

God began to work on me, but I think I took proper notice of it in 2018. It wasn’t easy, but He took me through it. And so when He took it up a notch higher in November 2019, I felt led to write this. He taught me to sit in His presence and point out and admit some things I’d observed, and ask for help. For the mood swings, the outbursts of anger, unforgiveness and bitterness towards people who’d wronged me. These are things I have not been able to tell my closest spiritual friend. Trusting God to help me in that regard.

Perhaps you’re like Sinuola. And you feel like you’re about to explode due to all you’ve been holding in. Sinuola is telling you this day, that while you work on expressing your feelings with men, you do not have to be tight lipped with Jesus.

Be real with Him. You can be real beloved! Tell Him how you feel. The issues bothering your heart. The struggles. Yes He knows, but this is for you because the first step to changing certain habits and character traits is by naming and identifying them. And because it strengthens the cord of your fellowship with the Father. How do you call one father whom you treat as a stranger?

Grace to you Beloved,

Sinuola.